In search of kindness

When my sisters and I were young children, our parents taught us many valuable lessons about the importance of kindness. Whenever one of us spoke ill of anybody, mum would make us stand in front of the large mirror in the house for 10 minutes because she felt that speaking ill and being judgemental reflected badly on us.

After having to stare at myself on quite a few occasions, I realised that a much better approach to life and relationships is to look for the best in people. It’s a lesson I have carried with me ever since. True leadership means leading by example and being generous with praise and recognition.

At Virgin, we live by this principle to this day. People will always make mistakes, but the trick is to embrace failure as essential to our journey, to learn from it and move on. Highlighting and celebrating the positive things our people have done for the company is a much better way of nurturing a sense of belonging and purpose.

When somebody reaches the end of their life and moves on, people don’t gather round their grave talking about how much money they made. I like to think that we’d all much rather be cherished and remembered for the kindness, empathy and care we extended to those around us.

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What applies to our personal lives, or to business, should also apply to statesmanship, where so much more is at stake. I was fortunate enough to know Nelson Mandela and Archbishop Desmond Tutu, whose shared, unwavering belief in the good of humanity put South Africa on a path to truth and reconciliation in the 1990s. Or think of the moral courage of the late President Jimmy Carter, whose capacity to listen with intent, empathy and care was unmatched. Kofi Annan, who was Chair of The Elders, was another.

Image by Jeff Moore - Richard Branson with The Elders

If our current leaders are to be remembered when they are gone, like these giants of the past, we need more of that ‘kindly feeling’ in the way they talk and in the way they act. It really isn’t such a novel concept.

I think my parents understood this well.